I posted this and then deleted it and then posted it again. And I'll explain why in the next post...

It’s been a discouraging week as far as food goes.  I’m supposed to be getting tired of eating junk food all the time.  I’m supposed to be craving salads and healthy food.  I’m supposed to be not thinking about food ALL the time… or so I thought.  I still find myself eating 5 bowls of Apple Jacks at a time.  I downed about a half gallon of cookie dough ice cream between Friday morning and Saturday afternoon.  I feel really bad about myself, and the worse part if I don’t see an end.  The book keeps saying that during this “first part” of the intuitive eating experience one might feel this way.  And unfortunately it gives no specific time frame for this “first part”.  What if it lasts for 20 years?  I think the thing that bugs me is that I just don’t feel great.  I keep thinking I need to quit eating sugar.  But then I have to steer myself away from that restrictive type of thinking.  But what if I feel BETTER when I don’t eat sugar?  It’s all so confusing.  So I continue.  Granted, I haven’t finished reading the book.  I’m a little past half way.  I keep thinking that there might be some magical solution at the end of the book.  But I don’t think so.  My mom told me the other day that I ought to try Weight Watchers.  But I know for a fact that if I do, I’ll lose some weight and then turn around and put it right back on.  After all, isn’t that the whole point of this lifestyle experiment?  To abandon all thoughts of diets and calorie counting and let my body guide the way.  Yes.  But there it is.  The problem.  I’m having a hard time letting my body be my guide.  I still shove food in like it’s a last meal.  Even though I know that it’s not.  Or at least I tell myself over and over that I can eat whatever I want whenever I want.  And I still eat when I’m stressed, which is most of the time.  I’m not ready to give up yet though.  I will keep on keepin’ on.