Sweaty Chix Movement, Memo, or Mission Statement. I'm Not Quite Sure

Hi Chix!  I've been wanting to write and share something with you all for some time.  I've put it off for several reasons.  1) Because it's embarassing for me to talk about it,  2) Because I have yet to solve the problem, and 3) Because I assume people get sick of listening to me "blah blah blah".  But I've decided to go ahead and share.  Maybe it's because Jerry McGuire was on TV a couple of weeks ago and his "memo" inspired me too.  Or maybe it's just because I realize that I'm learning on the journey, and I know lots of you can relate.  In any case, I need to go back just a bit to get to where I want to go, so bare with me...

Sweaty Chix wasn't always "Sweaty Chix".  It really just started out as me teaching a couple times a week at the "copper top" church in Mapleton.  I think that was back in 2003 or 2004.   And actually I need to go back even farther.  When I was 30, I found myself divorced, pregnant, and a single mother to two little boys.  Fortunately, this amazing guy (Ron) came along and married me (pregnant and all).  But by the time I had given birth to that baby and then to one more (the "our's"), I was almost 200 pounds and hated myself.  To make a long story short, I discovered Tae Bo and lost about 60 pounds.  After a year and a half, I decided I wanted to teach so I started up at the church.  After doing that gig for a year, Richard (Omega Martial Arts) talked me into bringing my class over to his building (it was the old decrepit Omega building).  We did Tae Bo there for a while until he built his nice new building in our present location.  Soon Kristin and I came up with the grand idea to add weights.  And then Yoga and Zumba came into the picture, and kaPOW, Sweaty Chix was born. 

But the purpose of this "memo" is not to give you the history of Sweaty Chix.  The reason I bring all of that up is to say that through the years exercise has helped me keep off much of that 60 pounds I lost way back when.  But there is another component that has continued to plague me.  As a matter of fact, it has plagued me since the 8th grade, which is the first time I remember thinking that I was fat.  I remember specifically comparing my thighs to Kasey Rickabaugh's thighs.  Her's were much skinnier.  And there it began.  My battle with food.  Binge, starve, binge, starve, binge, starve... and even attempting on more than one occasion to throw up.  Dexatrim, fen-phen, laxitives.  I've dabbled in all of them through the years.  Some years have passed with just casual dieting, always ending back with the binge/starve pattern that became home to me.  The best years I remember were those after my initial weight loss I mentioned previously.  I can't even say why.  Maybe it was the new found love of exercise, specifically Tae Bo (Billy Blanks even put me in his infomercial.)  I stayed stable up until a couple of years ago.  I'm not sure what happened but all of a sudden, those habits I thought I had long since abandoned came creeping back.  I had plastic surgery in 2009, and I think it started then.  Maybe I started feeling pressure to look perfect.  It's tough telling people that I work in the "fitness industry" while feeling like I should be saying I work in the "food industry".  (And that's part of the problem.  I feel just as "fat" at 140 pounds as I did at 200 pounds.  How does that work exactly?!)  In any case, I found myself dieting again.  I did HCG, high protein, Fat Loss for Idiots, etc etc etc.  Each diet ended up with a bigger binge than the previous.  And each diet ended up with a bigger number on the scale than the previous.  Well, a few weeks ago, I decided that I was done.  It was consuming my life, my mind, everything.  I decided that I would rather settle for 155 pounds (which is where I ended up after the last diet) and never diet again than risk thinking about food forever.  I also made an appointment with a counselor at Center for Change and vowed to do whatever they said.  (I would have checked myself in had it not cost $20K)  In any case, she confirmed in my head what I already knew in my heart... diets do NOT work.  I know we've heard that over and over, but she really convinced me.  And then she sent me to buy this book called Intuitive Eating.  It's by two nutritionists, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.  I'm not going to get into everything I am learning from this book in this email.  I'll save that for the next one.  But I want to share that thought with you.  Diets don't work.  Ever.  At least in my 44 years they haven't. 

But the main thing I want to share with you goes back to our "Sweaty Chix" beginnings.  When we first started out, way back in the copper top church and old Omega building days, our main focus was to love ourselves for who we are.  As a matter of fact, we started something called the Love and Laughter Society.  We all carried around cards that reminded us to be happy with ourselves and to remember that the "bulges and wrinkles and grey hair are the rewards of life and love and laughter."  It's hard living in Utah.  The pressure to keep up is overwhelming.  Did you know that we are #1 in the country when it comes to anti-depressants?  And did you know that we are #1 when it comes to plastic surgery?  (I'm helping with both of those stats!!)  Anyway, those two have to be interconnected.  There are so many talented, beautiful, amazing women.  It's really hard not to get down on ourselves and feel like we aren't good enough.  But the reality is WE are the talented, beautiful, amazing women!  And it's not because we fit into skinny jeans, or not.  It's simply because we ARE.

So this is what I want for Sweaty Chix.  I want a new movement.  I want us to be happy with who we are.  I want us to quit worrying about the scale.  If I could, I'd come over to each of your houses and throw it away.  I'm throwing mine away - tonight.  I hope you'll join me.  Let's decide that we are not going to "diet" anymore, and let's just BE.  I know some of you already have this gift, but for the rest of us, let's learn together to enjoy exercise and food without obsessing about it.  And then let's be examples to the rest of Utah.  If you want to go get that book, it's called Intuitive Eating.  We can read it together (Do I see a Sweaty Chix book club in our future?)  There are a lot of us now.  We have an amazing support group.  And we have a responsibility to reach out and let other women know that they don't have to wear makeup and Jimmy Choo's to the Wal-mart.  (Unless they really want to.)  So are you in?  If so, email and let me know.  Post your progress on our Facebook page, or YOUR facebook page.  Or email me.  Or email your friend.  Or just keep it in your heart and be grateful!  Here's to us!  Wendy

p.s.  I’ll be sharing some of what I’m learning through this book and another great one called “When Food if Love” by Ganeen Roth.  If you prefer to not receive the emails, please let me know.  And feel free to email me with your thoughts and progress.  And remember it’s all in the journey.  Sometimes we’ll take one step forward and two steps back.  But that second step back may just teach us something that we missed the first time around.  So be grateful for that little detour and be kind to yourself.    xoxo  W.